The intelligence of simplicity

‘Endless observations’

What fascinates me is the connection with another person and all that can be observed in it.
What happens between people, often even before words are spoken?

As a child, I could watch interactions for hours on end. I found in-depth interviews on television the most interesting: one person facing another, and all the subtle nuances at play. Programmes such as 24 ours with or Coen Verbraak’s series ‘Kijken in de Ziel’. I watched it several times. Each time, I noticed new details in the facial expressions, timing, tension and silences.

That observation has never stopped.
In fact, it has become my work.

In counselling, this ability to observe is essential. It’s not just about hearing what someone says, but seeing what’s happening in their body. How does their breathing change? Their muscle tension? The direction of their gaze? Where does someone withdraw, and where does strength emerge?

Since I’ve had a dog, that field of understanding has only grown.
Attunement takes on an extra dimension. Less language, more directness. Less narrative, more truth in behaviour.

Living with an animal is a constant learning experience.
At the same time, I notice that my fascination is expanding further. The ‘Animal Adventures’ channel on YouTube features wonderful documentaries showing how humans live alongside lions, tigers, gorillas and even polar bears. Predators with a ruthless instinct, that’s true. Yet here you see how people – who have experienced these animals up close from birth – are fully integrated into the pack or are even regarded as partners.

Now, this isn’t an invitation to head out into the wild and approach these animals, but it turns out there’s a lot of potential for interaction between humans and animals. Basically, by simply observing behaviour endlessly and interacting with them from a young age. This provides an enormous source of information. I think we can learn a great deal from them. It certainly fascinates me.

An absolutely wonderful experience
I can also picture myself living amongst these kinds of predators. I recently had my first encounter with a lioness. As I sat down in front of the glass, the lioness noticed me and came over. She then stayed for quite some time. This gave me the opportunity to experience a lion up close. To feel its majesty. Truly indescribably beautiful.

Energy doesn’t lie
When interacting with animals, one thing is very clear: animals don’t react to what you say, but to what you radiate. Your inner state is more visible than you’d like. Just try faking calmness. Or self-confidence, or relaxation.

A horse, dog or wild animal will see right through it.
That’s what makes encounters with animals such an interesting mirror.

Boundaries without explanation
Anyone who observes herds, packs or primates sees just how clear communication can be. A glance, a posture or a slight correction. Then it’s over. No prolonged estrangement or shame. Not a whole psychological dossier. Because the boundary was congruent, the relationship can be restored.

For us humans, this is often complicated. We soften, rationalise, avoid or, conversely, build up tension until it escalates. Meanwhile, the connection becomes clouded.

Animals show us that clarity need not be unsafe.
On the contrary: it creates safety.

Simplicity as intelligence
We humans often confuse complexity with development. In nature, you see something different. Efficiency, timing and coordination, precisely. No superfluous movement. Primitive, yet incredibly efficient – and, one might say, intelligent. Everything that isn’t necessary is left out.

What would happen if we applied the same precision to our speech, our work and our guidance?

Presence without inner conflict
A lion at rest is at rest. A tiger on the hunt is on the hunt. There is no visible struggle with the moment. No attempt to be somewhere else. That does not mean that animals do not experience stress. In fact, their system is extremely sensitive to danger.

But once the danger has passed, the tension subsides. The body returns to a state of balance. This holds an interesting – and at the same time painful – lesson for us.

We can remain in a state of arousal due to memories, thoughts or expectations. The body remains in a state of alarm that has long since ceased to be relevant.

The animal recovers.
Humans get stuck.